2018’

New year SAME BITCH. But now I have a mini. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜

Most of you graciously gave us all a recap of your year, maybe even did the best 9 on instagram, (I generated one but I found the strength and courage not to post) and then some even posted their aspirations for the up and coming year as if next December we aren’t all going to be posting memes depicting just how awful the last year was and how we are gonna take the next year, bend it over and show it who’s boss.

Maybe I’m wrong. I mean what do I know?

But in case you needed a recap on my last year I’ll keep it short and sweet – I got knocked up, had the baby and she just had heart surgery. Also I lost my 6 pack amidst all that which was pretty devastating and the boobs I grew while pregnant also decided to leave me ☹️.

But that’s okay cause my baby is in perfect condition – save for some bouts of mommyitis and I’m gonna get those abs back and maybe I’ll get lucky and finally hit puberty! A bitch can dream right?

So to be basic I don’t think I really have any resolutions, other than trying to be the best mom I can to Riley and that means doing stuff like rocking her bouncer with my foot as I simultaneously type this cause her little chicken legs don’t touch the ground yet or reading her bed time stories she probably doesn’t understand yet because I want her to be smart. So, i guess my resolution is just to be my best self so my little rat girl (that’s a term of endearment) can have someone worth looking up to.

Oh my god.

I’m

So

Cliche

(Vomit)

Also, my horoscope seems to think this is going to be an amazing year but I’m pretty sure it tells everyone that but even still I’m all like yasssss bring on the blessings from the sun child of the north wolf redbull moon πŸŒ™

This post was lame but so is New Years literally fell asleep at 11.

Peace ✌🏼

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