Today is a very important day, all your good vibes and prayers are appreciated greatly.
Two of my very best friends are trying to become parents and are doing a natural transfer at 10am!
It has been a very rough road over the past several years, and I am sure I only know a small portion of their struggles.
I met Ashley freshman year of high school, she sat in front of me in homeroom. It was a new school for basically everyone there – private all girls, predominately catholic, and I think everyone was dying to fit in and make friends, which is typical of any 14 year old. I think Ashley and I decided to hang out that weekend and boy was I in for a treat! We went to the mall where she helped me buy my first set of thongs from Fredricks of Hollywood (which felt super scandalous and then my stepmom stole them from me and threw them out cus she was the worst- I literally didn’t want panty lines but thanks for thinking I was a slut lmao) ANYWAY. So we go to the mall, I have no idea what else we buy except these thongs and then her mom picks us up and somehow the conversation turns to the last time Ashley went to the mall and beat some girl up – I legit am dying in the back seat like who the fuck am I hanging out with? I am a wholesome child of god who has never thrown a fist in my life, she legit sounded like one of those public school bad kids I went to camp with but somehow secretly admired. So basically I think I braided her hair, told people it was greasy cause it was and I’m a bitch, and I went on to have a different group of friends for two years while Ashley became the president of the super sexy girls club and named herself Kat. (for like two seconds cause everybody was like LOL LOL WUUT? ).
Ashley and I reconnected junior year and became actual friends over somewhat unfortunate circumstances – honestly our freshman year struggles were similar but we weren’t mature enough to see that, fuck I don’t even know if we were even aware of it then. Eventually Ashley was one of my best friends. Throughout my addiction she was one of the people I hated the most probably because she would blow my spot up in a hot second to my dad – I was like this fucking bitch, can’t I just get high and work on my “projects” in peace. (Ashley’s probably laughing at it now but it wasn’t funny – she came home one night to find me face down in a scrapbook of pictures and cards from my ex-boyfriend and every time she would try and get me up to bed, I would whine “nooo I’m working on a project,” and subsequently return to me sleeping/drooling onto this pile of photos).
I don’t remember when but before I started making my rounds in rehab, she met this guy Derek, I remember her showing me a photo of him in his white tee and I was like mmm I don’t know dude. But they went to dinner and he ends up being this amazing guy that like 3 seconds later she falls head over heels for. And I dig him too – he’s good to her unlike some of her other choice boyfriends of the past, he’s funny and I can tell he has a good heart even though he annoys the shit out of me trying to get me to go to AA with him. NO THANKS PAL.
At one point I told them both to fuck off forever – and boy am I glad they didn’t. They were both two prominent people in helping me achieve sobriety. Derek drove me to the airport once for rehab, they would visit me and take me to harry potter world when I was living in halfway, tried to get me out of a terrible relationship and bring me home and even though I was a dick and wouldn’t leave with them, Ashley then flew down maybe two weeks after when I almost died and tried to talk some sense into me as I lay in a hospital bed, trying to convince her it was okay for me to be banging my pain meds and begging her not to tell. (I was so sick and she was sick of it – so she put her foot down and left) Again I was like this bitch. But really it was one of the best things she ever did for me.
When I came home from Florida a hot rockin mess, Ashley and Derek did nothing but love and support me, like literally would pick me up or take me home from my dads as if I were a kid going to daycare. All the while they were going through their own struggles.
About a year after I had been back in PA I found out I was pregnant – and I was terrified to tell Ashley as she had been going through her own fertility issues at the time. When I say terrified I literally was so scared, I mean I was scared to tell a lot of people, but I didn’t want to hurt Ashley, I knew it was something she and Derek really wanted, and here I am the asshole that has sex with her ex once and randomly gets pregnant. I forget when I had to tell her, it took me a few weeks but I remember she texted me and was like what’s wrong you’re not acting right and I was like Ashely, I can’t talk about this right now, I’ll tell you in person. To which she responded well you’re either getting high or you’re pregnant and I was like ITS NOT DRUGS IM SORRY!
She took it as well as she could have, at least as far as I could see, I don’t know how it was in her head though. There was a point early on when I was bleeding and thought I was losing the baby and she sat beside me in the hospital and reassured me it would all be okay. She was there for me through my entire pregnancy, through me being a total brat about riley being a girl, helping me with my registry, throwing me a beautiful shower, the birth of my daughter and cutting the umbilical cord, and then watching Riley and caring for her like she was her own. Both she and Derek were. They have gone above and beyond as friends – they are in my mind, my family. I have seen the way they selflessly help others and never ask for a thing in return. I see the way they love and care for my daughter as if she were their own flesh and blood – it warms my heart to see how she looks at them. Ashley is an amazing aunt who Riley will always be able to go to for love support and advice, and Derek is the perfect male figure for riley– I’m sure he will take her to father daughter dances and step in when I need him to – I know I can count on them both, I know Riley can too. I have seen how difficult this has been for the two of them, I watched them experience a heartbreaking loss last fall, and still smile and be there for Riley and I in spite of their own pain. Today is a very important day for them, if anyone in this world deserves to be parents it is these two – I know this in my heart. So again I ask you all for your prayers, good vibes, support whatever – just give it to them today.
Ashley, Derek, I love you and I thank you for everything. Riley and I are eternally grateful.
As always, love and light 💙☀️